The Bard of Lard Doth Rhyme it Hard


Ask me that which I hold dear and I should answer twice:

Family first, then ice cold beer, would, I think, suffice.

Family for I love them so, they bring me no small pleasure;

Beer is much the same you know – good company in my leisure.

Now ask me what to do without and I would answer thrice:

Broccoli, Hip-Hop, rainbow trout, exact a heavy price.

The first and third both smell like crap; to eat them is a sin,

The second because it sucks to rap, like a Hoover that’s plugged in.

Then ask me what goes through my skull before I start to write

Not so much; I’m pretty dull, a dollar store night light.

Pray bags of gold for all my friends, each time I start to type

Instead I offer my Depends, the only fruit that’s ripe.

And finally ask me why I rhyme instead of usual story,

and I will say “It takes less time,” and “My, that blouse is whorey.”

You other bloggers sure do post a lot; where do you find the time?

Today I choose to save on thought. It’s easier to rhyme.

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About Thestrugglershandbook

I'm a middle aged (if I live to be 100) guy, married, father of three, from Tucson, AZ. I'll write about almost anything. Though somewhat bent, what I write is always true(ish). It won't change your life, however. Unless that would preclude you from reading...
This entry was posted in Christianity, Family, Humor, Limericks, Living, Poetry, Religion, Uncategorized, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to The Bard of Lard Doth Rhyme it Hard

  1. Anonymous says:

    Thanks…I needed a laugh!

  2. Good stuff and certainly saves time. Or does it?

  3. Diane says:

    “Do not reply,” I tell myself,
    “You’ve better things to do.”
    But, so impressed am I, dear Richard,
    Only two references to poo!

    • Were there two? I admit that I talk a bit much about sacs and boys and ish, but it’s really all I’ve got. Just so you know, it’s only because I like you that I let others see your superior poetry, and I’m glad you have better things to do than to reply to me. How rude…

  4. Silliness may occur at this sight – that was just fun 🙂

  5. I hit you again because you’re just so funny so nominated you for The One Lovely Blog Award. If interested, please visit my site at http://susartandfood.wordpress.com/2012/05/17/one-lovely-blog-award/. Have a great day!

  6. Arizona girl says:

    Very nice! At least you get something out – I haven’t written in forever and am starting to feel a bit guilty about it. My excuse is that now that the sun is shining, the idea of sitting inside at my laptop seems a waste of what might be the last sunny day, and we all know that laptops don’t work well outdoors. Maybe I should take to night-time writing?

    • I agree that there doesn’t seem to be a lot of time of late, though there’s plenty of sunshine to go around here(105F yesterday). Night-time is good, if your other half doesn’t mind the dis!

  7. Uncle Scott says:

    No more ryming, and I mean it! Anyone want a peanut?

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